Letter #3

Dear T -
You were not yourself on Friday when you came over for a playdate. I could tell just by your voice on the phone. I could tell something was wrong when I put two cupcakes together with a 3 and an 8 candle on them and made you make a wish.

You were very not yourself when we got naked and I started to play with you and could only get you semi-hard. You didn't want to be kissed and almost seemed like you were avoiding it. Even after a gave you your B-day present which was a book of short story erotica you seemed very disconnected.

You apologized for seeming detached and said it was because you have a lot on your mind and that you had three guys at three jobsites waiting for you. You even left the house very quickly. After packing you a lunch, you kissed me and said "Thanks for your Support". What the Fuck was that? That is something you find in a greeting card and not something you tell your closest friend who had been fun fucking you for the last 2 years and has been your constant shoulder to lean on.

I have taken my fair share of your complaining over the last 2 years. I don't think you even realize that I NEVER call you to complain about anything going on in my life and I never discuss anything personal about me. But you don't think twice about dumping all your problems on me.

You called Thurs (the day before) to say that you dropped your phone into a excavation pit and that H was going to get you a replacement so don't send any texts because she would see them. (I hadn't because, well I don't know why- maybe it was intuition telling me not to) You also said I should cool it with the texting because H was asking why I send you text messages.

I send them because you said you liked getting messages from me and because it is much easier to get in touch with someone through texting versus calling, not answering, having someone call you back, eccentially playing phone tag. You could have just told her that I send you jokes that people send to me. But no - you get all paranoid that our little secret will get out.

How many times have we talked about the fact that we are NOT having an affair? You prefer to call it "hookin up" while I prefer to call it "playing". Neither one of us has any intention of leaving our spouses. Seriously, everyone needs to have a special friend other than their spouse. It keeps things fresh but also allows you to be more adventurous than you would be with your spouse. Last month you told me that you and H don't have sex very often. Maybe that's why she is such a sourpuss, if you gave it to her more often she would be in better moods. After her bookeeping/accounting fiasco, you held out on her for two months this summer so gee, I wonder what might give her the idea that you are getting it elsewhere.

When I called you Sat evening I could really hear the tension in your voice. You said you were "fine" but just stressed about getting caught, being business broke, having to scramble for payroll every week. You said "you and me we're fine" well I wasn't worried about me dumbass, I was worried about you. At that moment I could have sworn that you were Humpty Dumpty just waiting to fall and break into a million pieces. And yes I am worried that no one will be able to pick up the pieces to put you back together again. I could just hear the tiny crack in the surface. So I am going to not call or talk to you this week just to give you a break.